By Charlotte Flores-Gonzales
I am Charlotte Flores Gonzales, Eddie’s eldest daughter. I wish I stand before you today under different circumstances to tell you about a man I dearly love.
My Dad was born in a small province in the Philippines called Cavinti, Laguna. His real name was Leandro Abellino. But for some unknown reason, he ended up using Eddie as his legal name. And I never really found the reason why.
Papa, as we call him, is the youngest of four kids, – of Patricio, a school teacher and Francisca, a housewife. He loved and respected his parents as well as his siblings. He took pride in the fact that despite their poverty, his parents were able to raise two doctors, a teacher and a pharmacist – which coincidentally, he did with my mom as well – as they also raised two doctors and a pharmacist. The only difference is that my youngest sister is an engineer.
While I was growing up, I saw how much he loved his siblings. He always respected his kuya and ate. Although they would sometimes have arguments, it would always be resolved almost immediately. Indeed, he valued his closeness with his siblings – a trait he wanted his children to follow.
Papa had an inclination towards music. In fact, he wanted this to be his major when he was in college. However, his father requested that he pursue medicine, as his brother did, for then, he would not have to purchase a new set of books and just utilize his kuya’s medical textbooks. My Dad, being the good son that he was, obliged. He studied medicine to be a doctor and specialized in psychiatry. Although he saw patients for his livelihood, he never really forgot his love for music.
Papa did not have formal lessons in piano. Yet, he learned how to play a song just by listening to the melody. He did not have guitar lessons, and yet he knew how to play the instrument. He loved Kundiman songs and considered them real music, while he called the songs of our generation, noise. And although he did not appreciate the songs that we listened to, he let us play our tapes in his car when traveling.
My Dad also had a gift in dancing. He enjoyed ballroom and even folk dancing. He even once choreographed a dance number by a group of physicians at St Louis hospital in Baguio City. And he did a pretty good job.
As a physician, my Dad was well respected by his colleagues. He was kind and compassionate. I did not fully realize this until I read an anecdote from one of his patients in the CLOTA website. Fondly called Dr. Eddie in their province, he would always help anyone in need of medical care. Although he would often be compensated for the services he rendered, he valued the respect and distinction he received, more than the monetary rewards.
As our family needs continue to grow, Papa and Mama made a huge sacrifice when they both decided that Mama migrate to the US for a better job opportunity. Stuck with 4 girls and on and off household help, he did not really know what to do. Once, our help left because of me, yet I never got reprimanded despite the added burden of having to do household chores. He continued to do all of these without any complaints.
With my Mother’s immigration to the US in 1983, we spent most of our formative years with Papa. He was gentle but firm, kind but tough. Although he would always kid around us, he made sure that we took him seriously when he meant business. He nurtured us. He made sure we had everything we needed. A friend of mine mentioned how admirable Papa was because he made sure I had everything I needed, when I moved to a dorm in college. He visited me every couple of weeks to make sure that I am alright and coping well, for I lived far from home.
My parents’ marriage was not perfect. Although they would frequently argue, they stuck it through all these years. When I asked him once, if he still loves my mom during one of their arguments, he replied “very much so”, without any hesitation. Since then, I was reassured that my parents would always be together because of love.
Although my Dad has lived in the US since 1997, he was 100% pinoy in and out. He was more aware of the Philippine current events than what was going on in his vicinity. Filipino food was the only thing he enjoyed and would only try other dishes as long as it was served with rice. He enjoyed eating at Goldilocks, Ongpin and recently Tribu. Whenever we eat out, it was almost always, that it would be in one of these restaurants.
Eating was something Papa enjoyed. In fact, after he had his quadruple bypass in 2004, we had to watch his cholesterol intake. I remember, Cherwyn would always hide the chocolates and tsitseria Tita Vicky would give us as my dad would always munch on something as he was watching television. Once when we were in Portugal hearing mass, he requested that we left after communion as he was worried the restaurants would be crowded, for it was lunch hour. We really had to monitor his food intake to avoid more weight gain. Quite the irony when he was diagnosed with cancer and had to undergo treatment – he ate less.
My father hoped he would live in to his 80’s. After all, his parents died when they were 80. However, God had other plans for him. On June 2007, Papa was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, a disease with poor prognosis. Two doctors from reputable hospitals advised us that it was inoperable. However, his own doctor thought otherwise. With a leap of faith, Papa proceeded with the surgery. He continued to fight the disease, if only to be with his family a little bit longer. But no matter how hard he tried, pancreatic cancer gained the upper hand. He eventually succumbed to its complications after 18 months of battle.
Although Papa is physically gone, he will continue to live in our hearts, his blood will continue to flow in my soul. For I am what I am because of him and Mama. Albert Einstein once said,
“Our death is not an end if we can live on in our children and the younger generation. For they are us, our bodies are only wilted leaves on the tree of life.”
I will deeply miss you Papa. But I know that you are in a better place now, free from pain and now in peace. I just hope you felt how much we love you during your stay with us. I firmly hope, we, your children, made you proud.
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